How to Tell If a Shy Girl Likes You

10 signs taken together that can spell she’s into you

While I didn’t spend much of my life woefully shy (having a lot of guy friends can embolden you), I’ve known so many women that were and still are.

They’re pretty easy to spot: head down, shy smile, those furtive cutaways. I once watched a shy gal at a wedding blush crimson and stammer through half a sentence before turning and fleeing from the dance floor.

We all fear rejection, but it cuts the shyest of us the deepest.

If you’ve got a timid moonflower around you, it can be tempting to ignore her attempts to connect with you for the starlight of the extroverts, but many shy women just need the warmth of one person’s attention to open up. You may also appreciate their often stellar listening skills and thoughtful input.

Here are 10 signs a shy lady in your midst may be into you:

1. She smiles around you and/or laughs at your jokes.

If there’s a relatively quiet woman near you that seems to respond to everything you say or even badly joke with a smile or laugh, she’s interested in you. A lot.

Shy girls don’t often signal directly that they’re interested, but this is the #1 sign that they are. They’ll affirm whatever you say or do with a a quick turn-up of their lips or a quiet giggle.

2. You catch her looking at you.

A shy woman isn’t going to look at you directly. She’s going to attempt to look at you when she believes you’re occupied. Hence you might feel eyes on you and look up. When that happens, she’ll immediately look away.

If this happens to you often enough, start realizing it’s likely not an accident. It’s a shy woman hoping you’ll approach her.

3. She blushes.

My client Carol blushed just talking about a man she was into. She told me she had to wear shirts and dresses with high necklines, scarves, or statement necklaces when she knew she was going to be around him. It was that obvious how much and how often she blushed. If a woman constantly blushes around you, it’s likely emotionally triggered by your presence.

4. She bumps into you or touches you “accidentally.”

A shy woman isn’t going to grab your hand, hug you, or dance up on you. This is probably just a small brush of the hand when she walks by you.

She simply isn’t secure enough to come up to you and hug you or take your hand. Instead she’ll “accidentally” brush your hand, touch your arm, run into you, etc. She’ll likely apologize right after too. It should seem cute now that you know what it means.

5. She’ll talk to everyone — except you.

If a shy woman blushes or stammers whenever she’s around you, she may save herself the embarrassment and try to limit how often she talks to you. She’ll then talk to everyone else except you since they don’t get her stuttering and turning red.

Try not to be insulted or to take it personally. Instead take it as a reason to go ahead and start a conversation with her.

6. You’ll run into her.

Shy women pay attention. They’re going to observe what places they’ve seen you at and where you like to check-in at on social media. It sounds creepy, I know.

Take it however you like, but her intention is to set up opportunities to run into you or to tag herself being there on social media, so you’ll come up and talk to her about it.

7. She likes your social media posts.

There’s a degree of separation when it comes to social media. She can sit behind her computer or phone and “connect” with you without having to deal with all of the embarrassment of making some silly mistake in front of you.

Pay attention when a woman you know likes everything you put up. That video to the song you were listening to at the gym. Your new profile picture or status update. If she’s liking everything, she obviously likes you too.

8. She constantly messes with her hair, clothes, jewelry, etc.

Shy women are, by nature, more nervous. All women signal their desire to be approached by primping or preening (aka messing with their hair, clothes, jewelry, etc.), but a shy woman will do it all the time she’s near you.It may even seem like a nervous tic, but it’s just because she’s that into you.

9. She lingers.

A shy woman will like to keep a near, but not too near proximity to you. She’ll want to hear what’s going on near you and get plenty of time to look at you when you’re not paying attention.

An extroverted or more confident woman would easily just insert herself wherever you are, but a shy woman will generally try to play it safe. They don’t love being the center of attention, and they’d rather you respond to their quiet siren call than risk putting themselves out there.

10. She indirectly offers to hang out with you.

You didn’t even realize she was near when you started venting how much you’re struggling in your calculus class or you have no idea how you’ll get this big presentation done in time, and suddenly she’s there at your elbow quietly saying, “I’m free if you need some help.”

Her favorite phrase is actually probably something like, “I could help you with that.”

While it may just seem like she’s just a generous person, she’s subtly offering to hang out with you.

All women can seem mysterious, but shy women even more so. How can you reconcile a woman liking you who will also avoid talking to you?? I know. I know. I’m not promising it’s easy, but knowing whether a woman is into you is the first step to knowing whether you can approach a woman without fear of failure.


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